WEEKLY COLUMN BY DAVID BENTLEY

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Separate Orbits

Last week can best be described as "muddled mayhem." Computer viruses hurtled instantaneously through cyber space. Community members debated the merits of being peace protesters versus peace activists. Vending machines and commercialism in schools were hot topics. President Bush sent more troops to the Middle East, and Governors in most states attempted to make cuts in deficit budgets. Yet amid the discord and confusion, a few people were talking about toleration.

As a personal coach, I often help eliminate "tolerations" from people's lives. We list things they've been putting up with or enduring, such as squeaky door hinges, out-of-date software, and other annoyances that can be corrected, replaced, or overcome. However the "toleration" being discussed last week was about recognizing and respecting the opinions, practices, and/or behavior of others.

When a friend and I went for a hike, I asked him what he thought all the political posturing was about and how that fits with the concept of tolerance. He hesitated for several steps, and then said, "It's like planets that fell out of orbit."

Satisfied with his answer, he continued to walk in silence. I probed for more information by saying, "So, tell me more about that."

He explained that we are like planets revolving around some central point. We're not much different in relative size, so we continue to remain balanced in our separate orbits. However, when we force ourselves and others into the same orbit, our gravitational forces become unbalanced, and we crash into each other like giant meteors. He said we need to be content and self-assured on our own path around this central point while allowing others to remain on their paths.

As we continued to walk, I had many doubts about the scientific accuracy of my friend's explanation, but somehow it still made sense.

• Can many different orbits all manage to fit around the same point?
  
  
• Are you willing to stay in your orbit even if others don't join you?
  
  
• Do you allow others to stay in their own orbits?
  
  
• What will be required for you to be tolerant?

© 2003 David Bentley

David Bentley, M.Ed. & Personal Coach, coaches clients through the game of life, helping them find balance, clarity of direction, and purpose in an ever-changing world.

He can be reached by phone at 360.378.8436

by e-mail at david@coachbentley.com

or visit his Web site: www.coachbentley.com

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