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DAVID BENTLEY'S WEEKLY COLUMN

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WAR OF THE WEB

A local spider and I are having a dispute. He, or she -- I've never taken a course in arachnid anatomy -- seems to think that the space between my roof overhang and the drainpipe for the rain gutter is the perfect place for a web. I disagree. So the spider builds a web, and I remove it. Then the spider rebuilds the web, and I take it down again. We've been doing this same routine all summer.

I marvel at the tenacity of this spider. Despite the fact that I'm much larger and just as determined, the spider keeps rebuilding its web in the same location no matter how many times I destroy it. I wonder why. Is this some prime piece of real estate that provides enough food before I destroy the web to make rebuilding worthwhile? Does the spider's ego convince it that humans can be controlled with enough effort? Has the poor creature accepted the role of victim and failed to realize that there are other choices? Have I become the adoptive parent to an out-of-control, adolescent spider?

Neither of us understands the other, and communication so far has been impossible. Perhaps mediation is needed, but I haven't a clue who could facilitate it. I've heard of animal behaviorists helping pet owners with difficult dogs and cats, but I'm not sure spiders fall within their realm of expertise. I could resort to extermination, but I really don't want to kill the spider. I just don't want its web invading my space.

So, unless one of us gives up or dies fighting, I suppose we'll continue our little war. It's insane for us to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, but that seems to be our destiny. I wonder if either of us will dare to challenge fate by taking a different course of action.

  • Do you keep taking the same actions while expecting different results?

  • What other choices do you have?

  • Are you willing to risk taking another course of action?

  • When will you start?

© 2003 David Bentley

David Bentley, M.Ed. & Personal Coach, coaches clients through the game of life, helping them find balance, clarity of direction, and purpose in an ever-changing world.

You may contact him at 360.378.8436

by e-mail at david@coachbentley.com

or visit his Web site: www.coachbentley.com

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