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DAVID BENTLEY'S WEEKLY COLUMN |
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LET US NOT FAIL
The fall of 1992 began my second year of teaching 2nd grade on San Juan Island. A skinny kid wearing glasses, an oversized tee shirt, well-worn jeans, and a navy blue baseball cap appeared in my classroom. He was shy, and had a nervous laugh when he didn't know what to say. Academic achievement did not come easily for him, but he persevered. He got along with everyone else in the class and had a great sense of humor. His name was Ryan LoBue. During the next ten years the glasses went away, and the bushy Afro that became his trademark prevented him from wearing baseball caps anymore. Continuously shy, he still never failed to greet me around town with his standard, "Hi, Mr. Bentley. How are you doing?"
Now Ryan is dead. Reliving memories of him and wondering how such a tragedy could occur, I've found it difficult to accept that someone so young with so much living ahead of him could be taken away without a chance to achieve his dreams. I've watched members of this community, young and old alike, tearfully placing mementos at two spontaneously constructed memorials. Ryan's death was sudden and unexpected, and the grief from such a death is always complicated. As each of us deals with our feelings of loss, we will experience a wide range of emotions. Old wounds and memories of past losses will resurface. We will feel pain as we struggle with issues of accountability. The process will not be completed quickly. My hope is that in the coming days and weeks and months and perhaps even years of grieving, we will all learn something from whatever mistakes resulted in the death of Ryan LoBue. I am fond of telling people that the only failure is the mistake from which one fails to learn. Please, God, let us not fail this time.
© 2003 David Bentley David Bentley, M.Ed. & Personal Coach, coaches clients through the game of life, helping them find balance, clarity of direction, and purpose in an ever-changing world. You may contact him at 360.378.8436 by e-mail at david@coachbentley.com or visit his Web site: www.coachbentley.com |
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