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DAVID BENTLEY'S WEEKLY COLUMN


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Previous
columns

Let Us Not Fail

Rejuvenation

The Efficient Trip

The Chess Game

Spoiled Brat

How's Your Grid?

Changes Everywhere

Charity Case

The Big Event

War of the Web

Simple Pleasures

What am I Missing?

Boats & Beaters

Growing Pains

WHAT IS, IS

Wistful Weeding

Making A Difference

Million Dollar Possessions

Sun & Rain

MORE COLUMNS...

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David Bentley chalks up 100th personal coaching column

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Article about David Bentley on Today's Coach Web site

A TIME FOR RITUAL

In March of 1979, I met a guy my age at a kite flying contest. His name was Tery, and he'd just started working at the college where I worked. His kite was "store bought," as we say in Louisiana. Mine was homemade, and obviously not designed by an aeronautical engineer. Tery helped me restring it so that it got off the ground.

After the contest, which neither of us won, we became close friends. Over the years, we shared thoughts on many subjects from religion and philosophy to politics and war. Occasionally we coached each other on how to ask someone for a date or how to apply for a new job.

Last week I got a phone call telling me that Tery had not shown up for work and was found dead in his apartment from an overdose. I was sad that he had died, but was very angry that he had not told me about whatever was bothering him this time.

I decided to create a ritual labyrinth walk to release my angry feelings. Taking a pretty saucer, I put a candle in a prescription bottle and stuck it to the plate. Then I put a frosted chimney over it to hide the pill bottle and make everything look good on the outside.

As I walked through the labyrinth with the candle, the flame blew about in a frantic and tormented fashion. At the center of the labyrinth, I set the saucer down and turned my friend over to a power greater than either of us. Then I walked out of the labyrinth alone. From outside the labyrinth, I watched the candle burn. Soon it had burned down enough that the flame became calm and sent a peaceful glow through the chimney. At that moment, I knew that Tery was okay and that I would be, too.

  • Do you need to let go of feelings you're holding in?

  • Are you willing to use a ritual to help release them?

  • What sort of ritual will you create?

  • Who can help you with your ritual?

© 2003 David Bentley


David Bentley, M.Ed. & Personal Coach, coaches clients through the game of life, helping them find balance, clarity of direction, and purpose in an ever-changing world.

You may contact him at 360.378.8436

by e-mail at david@coachbentley.com

or visit his Web site: www.coachbentley.com

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