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DAVID BENTLEY'S WEEKLY COLUMN |
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A TIME FOR RITUAL
In March of 1979, I met a guy my age at a kite flying contest. His name was Tery, and he'd just started working at the college where I worked. His kite was "store bought," as we say in Louisiana. Mine was homemade, and obviously not designed by an aeronautical engineer. Tery helped me restring it so that it got off the ground. After the contest, which neither of us won, we became close friends. Over the years, we shared thoughts on many subjects from religion and philosophy to politics and war. Occasionally we coached each other on how to ask someone for a date or how to apply for a new job. Last week I got a phone call telling me that Tery had not shown up for work and was found dead in his apartment from an overdose. I was sad that he had died, but was very angry that he had not told me about whatever was bothering him this time. I decided to create a ritual labyrinth walk to release my angry feelings. Taking a pretty saucer, I put a candle in a prescription bottle and stuck it to the plate. Then I put a frosted chimney over it to hide the pill bottle and make everything look good on the outside. As I walked through the labyrinth with the candle, the flame blew about in a frantic and tormented fashion. At the center of the labyrinth, I set the saucer down and turned my friend over to a power greater than either of us. Then I walked out of the labyrinth alone. From outside the labyrinth, I watched the candle burn. Soon it had burned down enough that the flame became calm and sent a peaceful glow through the chimney. At that moment, I knew that Tery was okay and that I would be, too.
© 2003 David Bentley David Bentley, M.Ed. & Personal Coach, coaches clients through the game of life, helping them find balance, clarity of direction, and purpose in an ever-changing world. You may contact him at 360.378.8436 by e-mail at david@coachbentley.com or visit his Web site: www.coachbentley.com |
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