DAVID BENTLEY'S WEEKLY COLUMN

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THANKFULNESS

It's difficult at the beginning of the "holiday" season to find anything about which to be thankful, aside from the fact that another election day has passed. Halloween wares give way to Christmas merchandise with only cursory attention to Thanksgiving -- mainly food items and table decorations. Mail order catalogs fill our mailboxes. Pleas for money arrive from every charitable organization imaginable. By mid November our social calendars are full from Thanksgiving well into January. How does anyone honestly express gratitude at this time of year?

I've learned two important facts about myself that are relevant to being thankful. The first is that, when stressed, I can "awfulize" almost any situation. I convince myself that things are worse than they really are. My total focus is on uncovering anything that is the least bit negative and, thus, proving that my life is just plain awful. The second is that whenever one stressor moves out of my life, I always seem to invite another in. It is as if I need stress the same way an addict needs his drugs.

Of course knowing these two facts about myself has done little to change my behavior. My calendar is filling up. I have taken on more responsibilities than I can possibly accomplish. I am stretching my budget tighter than Jack Sprat's wife's girdle. Is it any wonder that I'm feeling stressed again?

So, be warned. Starting today, I'm putting the word "no" back into my vocabulary. I'm blocking out time for walks in the woods and afternoon naps. I'm going to bed early so I can get up and do some inspirational reading, meditation, and journaling before my day gets started. I'm even going to take some time to visit a beach and remind myself of the reasons I choose to live on this beautiful island. In the process, maybe I'll even remember the many reasons I have to be thankful.

• Are you having difficulty being thankful?
  
  
• How does holiday stress affect you?
  
  
• Do you ever "awfulize" your life?
  
  
• What will you do differently today?

© 2006 David Bentley

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David Bentley, M.Ed., is an avid observer of people, places and events. He uses his storytelling and questioning skills to help himself and others think outside the box in an ever-changing world.

Comments about his column can be sent to davidbentley@sanjuanislander.com.

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