If a person wants to feel bad, it’s not a difficult task to accomplish. Just thinking about the economy, global warming, life threatening illnesses, and politics is usually enough to get the job done. Approaching asteroids, earthquakes, tsunamis, and mentally ill gunmen have made it even easier to live in fear based badness. Now, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many people have yet another reason to feel bad.
"Why?" you ask. Just think about your history with the holiday. If your school teacher didn't require you to give a card to every other member of the class, you sweated bullets trying to muster up the courage to give that special someone a special valentine. Then, once the deed was done, you couldn't sleep at night wondering if the favor would be returned, and how you’d react if it weren't.
If your teacher did require you to give a card to each of the others in your class, you had to consider the implications of every card to avoid giving any wrong impressions. You certainly didn’t want to lead anyone on or break the heart of someone who cared far more for you than you did for them. Making such decisions could take hours or even days.
Then, as you got older, questions about gifts and dates made you crazy. Were carnations better than roses? Were roses over the top? Would chocolates ruin a diet or cause acne to flare up? Would burgers, fries, and malts seem too cheap? If you went for the full steak dinner now, would there be enough left in the bank account for the prom in May? Was aftershave or perfume too intimate? What would the expectation be after gifts and dinner had been shared?
Eventually, many of us got into comfortable relationships, and the angst of Valentine's Day became a fading memory. Others, who are still single, single again, or wishing they were single, continue to feel bad.
An African proverb states, "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." There could be no better advice for those of us who want to feel good on Valentine’s Day, or any other day.
How do fear and negativity influence the way you feel?
Do you want to feel better than you do?
Can you identify an enemy within as well as outside yourself?
What will you do to eliminate the enemy within, today?
About David Bentley
David Bentley, M.Ed., is an avid observer of people, places and events. He uses his storytelling and questioning skills to help himself and others think outside the box in an ever-changing world.
Comments about his column can be sent to davidbentley@sanjuanislander.com
© 2013 David Bentley
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