Psssst. Hey, you! Yes, you. You don’t see anyone else looking over your shoulder at this screen, do you? I’m about to tell you a secret, and I want you to pay attention, because I’m only going to tell you once. I didn’t write a column this week. Shhhhhhhhhhhh! Don’t yell like that! I’m going to get enough guff from the editor when she finds out. I’ve got my reasons. So just listen and keep quiet, okay?