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Those Nasty Expectations
November 3 - 9 , 2003
By Triana Èlan
I’m always amazed at how much more difficult communication gets. With all of the resources available now regarding communication skills, why is it getting worse?
The more I watch, the more I see how many expectations are set up in the mind of the listener, when in fact the speaker never implied any such things to set up such expectations. We have to expend an enormous amount of energy just to get a point across that should be simple.
We are making more statements and asking less questions. This leads to assumptions that are incorrect, and that leads to frustration and anger. How nonproductive.
It seems that nearly everything is fair game to be an emotional trigger for some people, and this gets very tiring very quickly. People who invent things to get angry about wear out their welcome in a very short time.
Here’s an example of expectations gone wrong over a simple matter; we’ll begin with the most efficient conversation, then see how the conversation really went:
A: "When will you be ready to help me put up some fence posts?"
B: "After I get my morning chores and an appointment with a client done...about 12:30 or so."
In a perfect world, both parties would meet close to 12:30 to do the work. Here’s how it actually went: Picture 11:00 a.m., B is finished doing morning chores and is dressed for the appointment. A is gathering fencing materials.
A: "I thought we could put up some posts before your appointment. "
B: "I’m sorry, I said I wouldn’t be able to until about 12:30. "
A: "But I expected that since you were here anyway, we’d put up a few before your appointment."
B: "I’m already dressed for my appointment, and I said I’d be back at about 12:30. "
At 12:30, A is very upset, figuring that as long as B was physically present, some fence posts may as well go up. A was not listening.
It seems that simple communication has become entangled in premature analysis, misinterpretation, "issues, " and other thoughts that prevent us from really listening or being attentive. When we are attentive to our own minds, it’s incredible how many problems resolve themselves!
Aries (March 21 - April 20):
Just when you were about to get the winter blues, Venus sails into friendly Sagittarius and picks up your spirits. No matter what else is going on, you’ll find some charming thing making you smile quite often this month. This month shows promise for you in unusual ways, so be alert and get proactive (not reactive). Mars, your ruler, is still stuck in indecisive Pisces, so you my be low on energy; that’s okay, you’ll be able to slow down enough to enjoy a few things.
Taurus (April 21 - May 20):
A total lunar eclipse falls in your sign on Saturday, marking the end of a trend and the beginning of a new one. Perhaps it’s a new job, a new way of thinking, or some other form of activity that involves your self identity. This effect will last for six months, so get rid of any negative thoughts, aim yourself in the direction of altruism, firm up your resolve, and go for it.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20):
All right, you guys, I did it once and I’ll do it again because you’ve been badgering me...Venus moves into your opposite sign of lucky Sagittarius; you’re going to win the lottery. Mars occupies dreamy Pisces, so you’re going to find the love of your life (or if you’re married, your spouse is going to inherit a fortune and you’ll never have to work again). You’ll never, ever get the stomach flu. Everybody adores you and thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. Within a week your house is going to be perfect. Cash flow will never be a problem for the rest of your life.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22):
Sing. Dance. Do things for no reason. This is a pretty interesting week, and the lunar eclipse in Taurus (Saturday) heralds some new people coming into your life in the next few months. Because of balance, though, some people will leave...you hate that, but you’re good at corresponding. You’ve been wanting to make some changes in your social life, so now is the time, and it falls during the perfect season to visit over coffee and prepare to say goodbye to the year.
Leo (July 23 - August 22):
Venus sailing into active Sagittarius boosts your spirits and gets you moving. This is great! Saturday’s lunar eclipse in Taurus will affect your sector of work, which could well lead to a new job within the next couple of months. Get rid of any misgivings you have and prepare to turn over a new leaf inwardly. This is building up to be a good month, with good progress that has the potential to last.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22):
Things are happening, Virgo, and you’re so busy you can barely breathe. Funny, because this is a not-busy time of year. But you get gnarly if you sit still for too long, so you’ve got your fingers in some pies here and there. If you’ve been thinking of getting a new pet, this is a good time to look, you’ll find the perfect one this month.
Libra (September 23 - October 22):
Okay Libra, don’t add any more to your plate, because it’s coming your way! All by itself, life is going to bring you some really fun stuff (it’s about darned time). If you’re been in a nasty mood, get out of it and renew your faith in yourself. Saturday’s lunar eclipse in Taurus brings the promise of a renewed relationship or a romantic encounter. Get out your dancing shoes! This stuff doesn’t happen without your help, you know!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 22):
The lunar eclipse in your opposite sign of Taurus on Saturday brings a sense of clearing in regard to a problematic relationship or an addiction. If you’ve been bent on a behavior you’d do better without, this is the time to change it. If you’re comfortable with yourself and your life the way it is, you’ll experience that clarity and inner peace with an even greater depth. Wow, this is your month!
Sagittarius (November 23 - December 20):
Venus flies into your sign now, and you’re going to need her support this month as we head toward the Holiday season. You may be short on cash for gifts, but your creativity will shine through and you’ll surprise yourself with a talent you didn’t even know you had that could lead you in a new direction. Ever one for an adventure, you’d rather live on the edge than be in the way. Pull in your purse strings this month so that when you find that perfect thing, you’ll have the funds to cover it.
Capricorn (December 21 - January 19):
The lunar eclipse on Saturday occurs in your fellow Earth sign of Taurus. This gives you a chance to get unstuck in the area of creative expression and communications with children. You’re moving into a more inclusive time where you’re going to be able to let the dead wood fall away and freshen up your spirit. No need to be weary, Cappie! Just pick more doable mountains for a little while.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 19):
Saturday sees a lunar eclipse in Taurus, and this falls in your sector of home and hearth. Could be that a family member may bring news to you of a change in status or health. There’s also a lot of activity in your sector of friendships during this time; while you may prefer to be inward, you’re likely to get dragged out into the middle of the party. You like parties if you’re in charge, but hey, nobody is in charge all the time!
Pisces (February 20-March 20) Well now Pisces, Saturday sees a lunar eclipse in steadfast Taurus. This falls in your sector of finances, and how you feel about money comes up into your face. Actually, it’s not how you feel about money, it’s how you feel about what you do to make it that needs a look. If you do your homework now and get very clear about what you really like doing for a living and also what you are willing to try, you’ll be in fine shape.
© 2003 by Triana J. Èlan
Email Triana at elan@rockisland.com
About Triana
Triana Elan has been a professional astrologer for nearly thirty years.
Schooled by some of the best astrologers of modern day (Liz Greene and
Leonie Starr of the UK; Lynn Richards and Robert Hand, U.S.), Triana has
developed a unique and uncannily accurate method of delineating charts.
She has been a member of the British Astrological Association, The
American Federation of Astrologers and the Center For Geocosmic Research
and has written an popular horoscope column in San Juan County
newspapers for nearly seven years.
Triana offers chart readings for both people and horses! Her most famous
equine client was Custom Made, who won a gold medal in the 1996 Atlanta
Olympics. Her clientele in Great Britain, the United States and Canada
include members of aristocracy, politicians and recording artists.
If you are interested in a reading, Triana can be contacted by email at elan@rockisland.com or
you can call 360-468-2309. A reading lasts for one hour and costs $100
U.S.
Payment can be made with Pay Pal if you prefer to use a credit card.
Credit card payments are only available online.
Equine astrological readings are also available for $45.00 U.S. MORE INFORMATION
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