|
March 3 - 9, 2003
Back Off, Dear Watson
By Triana Èlan
Last week we celebrated the 50 year anniversary of the discovery of DNA. The tale says that once Dr. Watson discovered DNA he made the announcement at his local pub. How quaint.
Half a century later, Dr. Watson is still as productive as ever, and so are the biotech institutes, coming up with ever more creative ways to sculpt life.
In these dangerous and tumultuous times, I have the greatest news: Dr. Watson has announced that genetic engineering can get rid of stupidity and less than fortunate looks in humans. Girls should all be pretty, he said. I’m NOT lying! This is true!
So sometime in the future, perhaps even during our lifetime, we will spawn a whole new breed of good looking children who are able to grock the Second Law of Thermodynamics before they can even walk. My question is, who is going to raise these Superkids??? The parents are going to be of the stupid and ugly genre. What a dilemma we now have.
The future president of the United States will no longer be able to call anyone a pygmy.
The Age Of Enlightenment is nigh!
If you read this as at all serious, and if you decide to get offended or upset, please consult your nearest Human Genome shop instead of me. I don’t know how to fix you. They will.
Aries (March 21 - April 20):
Don’t be surprised to find yourself feeling strange this week, perhaps a little nostalgic and weepy. Even you can get that way, Tough One! Several planets occupy watery Pisces, and this could dampen your spirits. It will pass. A good way to use this time is writing notes (not emails, I mean snail mail) to those who have influenced you in a good way. Drop them a line and let them know, they deserve it.
Taurus (April 21 - May 20):
This looks to be a good month for you, Taurus, after having struggled for a while with dumb stuff. Three planets will occupy Pisces (including Uranus), which will likely have a softening effect on you. Fixed signs such as yours can acquire hard edges from time and experience. Time to soften now, and tread softly through the china shop!
Gemini (May 21 - June 20):
Um, okay. Here it is. Uranus moves from Aquarius to Pisces, where it will remain for the next eight years. This influence could knock you off your rails if you don’t get some goals charted for yourself and stay the course. Uranus is not a nice planet and Pisces is not your favorite influence. Put your blinders on and ignore distractions that cause you to spin your wheels and waste energy.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22):
Three planets occupying Pisces have the soothing effect you’ve been looking for and opens new ground for you to network with like-minded others. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you, though. Stick with your gut reactions and don’t try to get lofty or holier than thou. You are the home-and-hearth sign, so keep the home fires burning and have the kettle on for whomever needs a nice cup of tea.
Leo (July 23 - August 22):
Well now, with a heavy Pisces influence charging into your eighth Solar House of intimacy and shared resources, you’re likely to be led by your heart now. Be careful, Leo, you have a future to take care of and you don’t want to give too much away. With that eighth house so active, sudden twists and turns are likely this month so be sure you have a solid spiritual practice from which you can access wisdom.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22):
Three planets charging into your opposing sign of Pisces now (the more prominent being Uranus), you’re coming into a long period of reassessment of relationships. Your House of Open Enemies is activating (it’s also the same house as marriage), and it could be that if you’ve annoyed someone, they’ll be likely to let you know much quicker. Clear the clutter of emotional baggage so you’ll be easier to be around.
Libra (September 23 - October 22):
Okay Libra, take stock of your health. Three planets in your sixth Solar House of health may bring up weaknesses that have been waiting to surface for a while. With Uranus passing through this house for the next eight years, you’re going to want to make sure you get rid of any unhealthy habits that could harm you in the long term. This is nothing to fool around with, so get very real and get on with the best you can give yourself!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 22):
Three planets will be occupying your fellow water sign of Pisces now, and this could well drive you crazy because you are demanding of commitments and Pisces is just the opposite. You could be finding yourself on slippery ground in dealing with others, so be sure you get the signatures you need and take nothing for granted. You don’t have to get mean about it, just don’t be negligent with yourself.
Sagittarius (November 23 - December 20):
March may be muddy due to three planets in slippery Pisces. Be very, very careful with contracts and promises, Archer. This promises to be an elusive month, but with your straightforward approach you’ll be able to root out the riff-raff. You’ll have to be extra flexible now. Hold others to their promises. You may have to whip up the herd a little, but you’ll get there with perseverance.
Capricorn (December 21 - January 19):
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be surprised. Uranus moves into Pisces for eight years, changing everything. A short trip to a spiritual retreat of some kind is just the ticket for you, to remove yourself from the fray of your life. Sometimes you need to completely remove yourself from the environment to gain a different perspective. You can’t rule over everything, so plan to put yourself in a situation where you don’t have to think.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 19):
Your Ruler, Uranus, leaves your sign after its eight year tour. It moves into Pisces on the 9th, where it will remain for eight years. This could signal radical fluctuations in finances and resources and some amount of unreliable influences around you that will require you to lay down the law. Being a fixed sign, you really don’t have a problem with that, but others may not take you seriously. You’ll have to show them that you are serious.
Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Here we goooooooo! Mighty Uranus, the zodiacal butt-kicker, moves into your sign on the 9th (Sunday). So now it will be your turn to wrestle with it for the next eight years. And wrestle you will. Uranus is a planet that shoves your right into your worst fears and makes you deal with them. It won’t put up with any excuses. You lucky thing, you get to undergo a radical makeover in the self-image department! Can we watch?!
© 2003 by Triana J. Èlan
Email Triana at elan@rockisland.com
About Triana
Triana Elan has been a professional astrologer for nearly thirty years.
Schooled by some of the best astrologers of modern day (Liz Greene and
Leonie Starr of the UK; Lynn Richards and Robert Hand, U.S.), Triana has
developed a unique and uncannily accurate method of delineating charts.
She has been a member of the British Astrological Association, The
American Federation of Astrologers and the Center For Geocosmic Research
and has written an popular horoscope column in San Juan County
newspapers for nearly seven years.
Triana offers chart readings for both people and horses! Her most famous
equine client was Custom Made, who won a gold medal in the 1996 Atlanta
Olympics. Her clientele in Great Britain, the United States and Canada
include members of aristocracy, politicians and recording artists.
If you are interested in a reading, Triana can be contacted by email at elan@rockisland.com or
you can call 360-376-3460. A reading lasts for one hour and costs $100
U.S.
Payment can be made with Pay Pal if you prefer to use a credit card.
Credit card payments are only available online.
Equine astrological readings are also available for $45.00 U.S. MORE INFORMATION
|
