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COLUMN BY MATT PRANGER |
Previous columnsList of columns written by Matt Pranger | |
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Men: Sweeten your Valentines with these tips
It is men's most dreaded day again. If we don't do something wonderful for our girlfriends, wives, significant others, whatevers on Valentine's Day, we'll be listening to the rest of the Olympics on the radio in the garage. Now a little bit of quiet time amongst power tools is as always appreciated, but it can be cool and damp during extended stays in unheated structures. It's far better to spend one day pampering your honey, snoogums, sugarplum, pumpkin, or whatever your sweetie is called. If you asked her what she wants for Valentine's Day, she likely said: "Oh, nothing fancy. I just want to spend time with you." Unless you're new to female-male relationships, you know better than to fall for this. What she's really meant is: "You better do something extra nice or you'll be keeping the dog warm on the couch until the tulips bloom." Since most women expect us men to figure out what they want without any direction, I've decided to help my fellow fellows. In a completely random and unscientific poll of less than a score of diverse women, I learned they want some pretty simple Valentine's gifts. Toppping the preferences was: "A night off from all the chores." This included taking care of children, looking after animals, cleaning and cooking. If you take this approach, I'd plan to take off work early and nap a few hours. You'll need the rest if you're going to have any energy for romance later. Related to this was: "A bubble bath and a good book." Such quiet, relaxing time in the tub is meant for one -- no toddlers or pooches splashing in the suds, the respondent said. Another woman also wished for a simple gift: "To be able to read in bed and not have anyone bug you." And yet another of the polled just wanted some nocturnal peace and quiet: "It'd be great to have a night without earplugs." Other women who slept next sawing slumberers seconded the request. Also ranking high was: "Dinner made for you." This appears mighty similar to a response above, but it's slightly different. It implies that the dinner is for just you and your sweetheart -- not the kids. Others also wanted a decent meal but either didn't trust their beau's culinary skills or wanted a change of atmosphere. "Eating at a nice restaurant is always appreciated," said one respondent. Some women didn't expect their boyfriends or spouses to make or spring for dinner but still longed for fine food. "You can never go wrong with chocolate," said one woman. She and others didn't want just any waxy, inexpensive sweets but some quality confections. Someone else also wished for a traditional Valentine's gift: "Flowers sent to you, because it's so rare." She and others clarified that "sent to you" meant "delivered to your workplace with a romantic note." "Lots of hugs and kisses," suggested one woman. The respondents cooed that some extra, gentle physical attention would be more well-received than most store-bought gifts. The polled made clear some presents definitely are not appreciated. These included:
So, it's as simple as that guys. You don't necessarily have to book a weekend at the swankiest hotel in Seattle or buy a diamond necklace. (What a relief. I was nearly believing those shameless TV commercials that attempt to guilt you into purchasing ancient carbon.) There are other ways to say "I Love You." You just need to put a little thought into Valentine's Day. Remember, a future romantic gift or thoughtful act will be appreciated even more if it's not related to a greeting card holiday, birthday or some other day of spousal obligation. Now, if I could only think of what to get MY WIFE for Valentine's Day. |
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