Gator wrasslin'

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you may be swept off to."
Bilbo Baggins

Gator wrasslin'

On Wednesday it was time to head across the state. As usual, we eschewed the superslabs and kept to the back roads…flat, straight back roads! We crossed on state road #74 and headed for Lake Okeechobee. On the map was a "roadside attraction" called GatorRama. Here was my chance to wrestle a gator I figured. Visions of all the old Tarzan movies I'd seen mixed with the episodes of the Croc Hunter. All I had to do was just jump on the gator's back and hold its jaw shut with my hands. Piece of cake.

Me and the gator.

20 minutes by kayak to Port Charlotte bay.

Right below the restaurant and about 200 feet into the Atlantic.

This road goes on for 40 miles like this!

Reality started to sink in as I saw the gators in the farm's display pond. Some were over 12 feet long and weighed more than 2000 lbs! I asked the gator wrangler about the chances of wrasslin one though. I reckoned that if a little money changed hands, there must be a secret tank out behind the "tame" gators where they'd let a determined carpetbagger try one of the aquatic lizards. In a thick drawl he replied: "Oh gators don't wrassle, thay jest bite!"

And then he held up his hand with its freshly missing ring finger! Seems that he was trying to move a small female (6 foot) last summer and she was able to get her mouth open about an inch as he adjusted the rope on her jaw. A quick sideways snatch of her head and she popped his finger off neat as could be. And he had 15 years experience.

He did tape the mouth of a 2-year-old gator for me and let me hold that one. I think I can read gator minds now because I'm sure that one was thinking "ya'all come back in 4 years and let's try this again." I think I'll pass on that.

Lunch at Okeechobee where I turned down Cooter (turtle) and Gator Bites (the tail) and on to the Space Coast on the Atlantic side. The highest altitude on the whole drive was an overpass. The highest point in this whole state is 354 feet!!!. When we think of global warming, we think of Pacific island nations where thousands would be displaced but much of Florida is a sandbar that's only temporarily above water. Millions live here. We stayed with friends whose house was a couple miles from the shore and 8 feet above sea level. Building lots were as low as $2500 but if consider that lot as only a temporary thing, then maybe the price is right.

The Atlantic coast wasn't as folksy as the Gulf. More money and way too many gated communities for my populist soul. A good pier at Cocoa Beach though with restaurants on top and surfing down below. It would never get a permit here but the fish, pelicans, and surfers didn't seem to mind.

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