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ISLANDERS REMEMBER RYAN LOBUE |
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A message and a tribute from Ryan's mom, Toni LoBue Islanders share memories of Ryan LoBue Ryan Lobue dies after car/bicycle crash Memorial service includes laughter and tears 72-hour deadline waived, charges remain in effect Letter from Court Bell re alcohol and youth Letters about alcohol and youth DUI drill is a realistic lesson for students Impact Panel impresses participants |
Letters about Ryan LobueDear Editor, posted 03/24/04
The love and compassion this family shared should be a model for all families. When John lost his battle with cancer I was brought to tears because this was such a gentle and loving man who loved his family with all his heart and for Toni who lost the one and only man she ever loved. The day I received Toni's email about Ryan's accident, I sat in front of my computer in total disbelief. This can't be happening. How can one person go through so much grief in such a short period of time. We all ask ourselves Why? Bad things are supposed to happen to bad people. This family was everything a family should be. They worked so very hard to build their dream home on an island they loved so much. My heart aches for Toni and Dan, and I just pray that someday peace and serenity surround them knowing that Johny and Ryan are sitting side by side by the golden pond in the sky,fishing poles in hand, waiting for that big one to pass by. Jean Davis Dear Editor, posted 03/24/04
The night he was killed I saw go by my driveway while I was on my way to youth group. I waved to him not knowing I would never see his smiling face again. I was out at the Cattle Point dune when the helicopter flew over with him inside, little did I know it was him. One of my best friends since elementary school. I cried for days after I found out nothing would ever be the same. If I could see him one more time I'd tell him how wonderful it has been growing up with him, but I know that will never happen, so this is the best Ii can do. Millhouse we love you very much and just hope that you are ok where ever you are. Sherlie Slocomb Two Small Wordsposted 11/04/03
I cannot begin to list the many acts of kindness that I have received during this distressful time. I can only tell you that each and every gesture has lightened and eased the burden I carry. When we moved here twelve years ago it was the natural beauty of the island that drew us here. Now I know that the compassion and generous heart of this community matches that beauty. There are just two small words to express so much gratitude. Thank you. Toni LoBue Remembering Ryan LoBue
Ryan Lobue's older brother Daniel took this photo of Toni and Ryan the week before the crash. Dear Editor, posted 09/23/03 Today I witnessed the beauty few people who visit our islands ever see. It was the beauty of the people that make up our community. It was the beauty of people coming together to offer support for their fellow neighbor. It was the beauty of young and old gathering to mourn the loss of a fellow islander. I saw families clutch each other tight as they watched the slide show documenting a life cut too short. I saw teenage girls openly weep while the teenage guys tried to stay tough, discreetly wiping a tear when they thought no one was looking. And amongst all this beauty, I also found pride. It's times like these that really bring out the best of our islands and remind me why I live here. When needed, we respond. And not just a few, but many. And it makes me proud as can be that I count myself among you. I've only lived here awhile now, but it's times like these that make me wonder why anyone would even consider living anywhere else. What we have here is special, and thankfully it is something I hope will never fade away. John Boyd Toni, My thoughts are with you and your family. May all who knew Ryan learn from this horrible event. And may you forever find solace in the love you shared with your son even for such a short time. All my love. Bernadette Dear Editor, posted 09/22/03 Tom A Tragedy of Errors There is never a fair price to pay, when life is the currency in the cost of learning from erroneous decisions. Though we are all beings, subject to making decisions that effect directly and indirectly these odds, we walk, ride and drive through on a daily basis. For instance, you may have heard of the butterfly migration that causes a weather phenomenon on the other side of the planet. I have a story about one butterfly that quaked my earthen shell. FULL LETTER FROM BRIAN PRESCOTT posted 09/22/03 I will miss his sweet smile and shiny spirit as I and my girls would be walking through town on our way into King's and have him stop and smile and say "What's up, Shell?" He will be forever remembered, in such a loving way by so many of us and has touched the hearts of many. My loving hugs and prayers as a mother come to you in comfort always. May your pain ease for you one day and your heart fill with joy again. Shell Dear Editor, posted 09/20/03 From reading all the articles and letters in the San Juan Islander regarding precious Ryan, I understand why they considered Friday Harbor a great place to live. I want to express my appreciation to this wonderful community for all your love and support for Toni and Daniel in the tragic losses of Ryan and John. When they left to move to Friday Harbor, Ryan was around five. I saw him grow throughout the years through Christmas photo's and newsletters. I have become more acquainted with the young man Ryan through your articles and letters. I, emotionally, see him through your eyes: funny, happy, "bouncy hair", "quick with a smile", helpful, a tease, compassionate, unique, friendly, "awesome sense of humor," and a "quiet way about him as did John." Again, thank you all for your loving support. You are a community which makes me "proud to be an American." Toni and Daniel. You have my everlasting love. Marie Eris To Milhouse; There is not a day that goes by where you will not be in our thoughts. I will smile for you everytime I think of you. I will remember The lesson this has tought us.Thank you Ryan for being the person that you were. All my love goes to your family and friends. I know you are now with your Dad watching us, the wind is your breath and the sun is your hug. Flierl Family Dear Editor, posted 09/20/03 My sons ride bikes, skateboard and walk everywhere they go and I can’t count the number of times I’ve said, "Be careful!" as they head off. They usually answer in an off-hand way, "Sure, Mom." then off they go and I try not to think about all the what ifs. What if someone is distracted for a moment and doesn’t see them in time? What if someone doesn’t stop at a stop sign? What if a carload of people decide to drive out to "watch the sunset on the west side" and feel they need alcohol to do that? Will they be watching out for my sons? Those "what ifs" turned into reality for Ryan and now his family’s lives will never be the same. Those young adults made a decision to drink and drive that day and they took someone else’s life into their hands when they made it. There was only one driver but each one of those four people made a choice when they got into that car. Will they be held accountable for the choice they made that day? What if they had been held accountable for their actions in the past? What if their parents had taught them that a bad decision is still a decision and it carries consequences, likely irreversible ones? What if they thought for one second about the responsibility they were accepting by getting into a car while drinking. Would things have turned out differently? Would Ryan be alive today? We have too many examples of a lack of accountability by the young people in our community; too many examples of tragedies occurring involving alcohol and drugs and they need to stop. If a community of this size and intellect can’t get a grip on a problem so obvious, where is the hope for the world? There are two young men, high school students, soon to be on trial for felony counts of rape against multiple victims: their own classmates. Yet another example of an alcohol and drug inspired tragedy. Had these two been held accountable for their past actions instead of excused, could their latest crimes have been avoided? Each action ignored or covered up leads to a more serious violation the next time. Every parent who covers up their child’s wrong-doing to avoid unpleasant repercussions is teaching that child that his or her actions carry no responsibility and that protecting themselves and their standing in the community ranks above doing what is right. Before you teach your child to drive, they need to learn responsibility. Before you let your child head off with friends, be clear that they are accountable for their actions as well as the actions of the people they have chosen to be with. When you teach your children about making decisions, make sure they understand that the decisions they make can impact the lives of others in either a positive way or in a way that may carry devastating and life-long consequences. We have to stop making allowances for the negative, and often illegal, behaviors of a small group of young people in this community and continue to encourage the majority trying to make good and responsible decisions. Nothing we do or say will bring Ryan back and that is the most sorrowful truth of all, but, through our actions, we can ensure that we won’t be writing letters like this about someone else and we won’t be placing flowers, notes and crosses in yet another spot on this island. We have to acknowledge that we have a problem with drugs and alcohol here and that it’s a big problem; then we have to take the actions required to put a halt to it. We all want to do something for Toni and taking action is the only thing I can think of that will make any kind of a difference. With sadness, Carol Ford Dear Editor, posted 09/20/03 David Garfield Dear Editor, posted 09/20/03 I knew Ryan for a short time because of his friendship with my brother and he was so funny and happy, my daughters and I loved his bouncy hair and his bouncy energy. We all loved and will miss you Ryan. I hope that the community does do something about the lanes for bikers. This was a careless accident and I am sorry for all that is "LOST" in this accident. My heart goes out to his family and friends. Love and light. Wendy Flierl Dear Editor, Please, children of all ages it is time to wake-up. How many more tragedies does our small community need to bring to light the dangers of impaired driving? In the fifteen years I’ve lived here it seems we’ve lost at least one person a year in this manner. Not to mention a litany of vicious assaults, domestic batteries, and other tragedies which were fueled by overindulgence. I’m not here to pass judgment on the driver or occupants of the car; all the information is not in yet. Plus, only the finest of those out there have not put themselves in the position where this could have happened to them, myself included. Nonetheless, something did happen this time. Maybe someone was driving too fast. If the sun was in your eyes and you can’t see, good judgment would tell you to slow down. Maybe someone was on a cell phone, maybe someone was changing a CD, maybe someone was talking to a back seat passenger, maybe someone dropped a joint on the floor, or maybe someone was drunk by 6:00 p.m., only time will tell. The realistic bottom line here is being responsible for yourself and to your friends and family. If you’ve had too much to drink call a parent, a friend, or a cab. I guarantee you they will come and they will respect you for your decision. The consequences are too severe. Remember, anything over a drink or two in a one-hour period causes impairment. Once you feel your drunk, you’re way too drunk. To Ryan’s family and friends: I only knew him from King’s and he was quick with a smile, always helpful, and a pleasure to be around. He was a fine young man with a bright future erased in the blink of an eye. Gayle Rollins Dear Editor, I think that it's just wrong for an accident to happen when it takes the life of a fine young man as Ryan LoBue. My problem is that if people are going to drink, then they should'nt drive, they should have a desingnated driver. I can understand the thing about the sun shinning bright when this accident happened. But cars do have sun visors, they do block the glare so the driver can see. So why did the driver take off after the scene of an accident? Miss Drew should have come back to the scene, I think that if there was no drinking and if the drivewr had been using her sun visor, maybe Ryan LoBue would be alive today. Pauline O'Neill Ryan, I have loved you since the day I met you, and I will forever. I will miss you so much and I will carry you with me always. I love you. Carolyn Ross Dear Editor,
WE ARE A COMMUNITY, please let us remember what that means...we have something amazing here on our "Island"...LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR ALL... Deanna Banry Dear Toni and Dan We are in utter shock and greatly saddened to hear about your beloved Ryan. It is times like this that we wish we didn't live so far from Friday Harbor. Please know that you both are in our hearts and prayers during this difficult time. Also know that you have people in Costa Rica that will never forget Ryan. In fact, last night we called Alex (in Washington) and shared stories about Ryan. It was a great comfort to Alex, who mourns Ryan deeply. Again...please know that we are thinking of you and that we are so very sorry for this tragedy. Warmest Regards, Darby and Dan Hammond Dearest Toni and Dan, We are still numb from the shock. John and now Ryan. Our hearts go out to you and if you need anything please call. We love you and we are here for you. The Herkos (Mike, Michelle, Kai and Nik) Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
My sadness was long gone the moment we first visited the LoBue's to see their new lives, the land they loved, their new friends and so on. If there's a Heaven on Earth, they found it in Friday Harbor. The loss of John, now the loss of sweet, young Ryan is unimaginable, but the love and support from all of the LoBue's friends and family, both local islanders and those in California is beyond one's imagination. It gives me great comfort to know that there are so many of you (Jill, Janet and others) there, with Toni and Dan, to hold them, to be with them, to give them the comfort and love they need at this time. My visits to Friday Harbor this past April and June had been very special. I was able to offer the companionship and love (along with some comedy relief) given only by a best friend. During those visits Ryan and I became especially close (we shared the bathroom). Believe it or not...he even let me straighten his hair. Ryan came across as a quiet young man, but to those of you who knew him, know better....Ryan was a tease, he actually had quite a lot to say, once you got him talking, he was extremely compassionate and loving. During my visits I became so proud of Ryan, seeing him help his mom in his dad's absence, he truly rose to a level of maturity, he had to become a man so quickly. My heart hurts so badly for all of you, Toni, Dan, Annette, Dave, Connie, Steve and Robin. Toni..I'll be there next Tuesday, OK. I love you. Linda (YBF) Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
Ted Rea Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
With Love The Bull Family Remembering RyanBy Kendra Jewett Roses are red and remind me of the loss of Ryan. Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
Bob and Stephanie Macchi and family Dearest Toni and Daniel, My heart just stopped when I read about Ryan. He has always had that quiet way about him as did John. My heart just goes out to you, and I pray that God keep you strong. You have been through so much this past year, and I want you to know how much I am praying for you and Daniel. Your friend, Jean Davis Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
Annabell Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
We will all miss you Ryan it is a true tragety that things like this happen, expecially after this was the year that we had that DUI presentation. I guess some people may never take things such as that seriously! You all will be in my thoughts and prayers, and just remember Ryan was a truely awsome person! Catherine posted 09/17/03
Debbie Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
Love, Anne, Mary, Pat, Nancy and families Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
Cindy Gutierrez and family Dear Editor, posted 09/17/03
Rob and Karen Magovern
Dear Editor, posted 09/15/03
I've known the LoBues, well, since I can even remember (Toni has been my mom's best friend since they were kids). I was so proud of Toni, Dan and Ryan for being so strong after John passed away and now this happened, just when you think things are getting better. I can tell by all the stories that Ryan was loved and will be missed dearly by all his friends and family on the island. I pray that Toni and Dan can count on their strong will and good friends to pull them through this hard, hard time. Let's all try to remember that the risks we take in our own lives may not only effect us but cost someone else pain and suffering. I guess the good do die young.... Julie Dear Editor, posted 09/15/03
His family was close with mine, and i really enjoyed knowing him. Toni was always like a second mother to me and I wish I could be there to comfort her right now instead of at college. As time goes on I know our community and the LoBue family can get stronger and hopefully not have to grieve as much. Though Ryan will be greatly missed, and we may never really get over this tragedy, time may dry our eyes and heal our hearts, for Ryan would not want us to be sad, but to be smile and remember him in his happiest and most accomplishing moments in his life. Always remember the best of Ryan and his beautiful smile. As a community we can get through this together. Toni and Dan -- I love you guys and wish you all the best, I wish I could be there as I was when John died....I will be praying for you. Love always, Dear Editor, posted 09/15/03
Again, our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Kim (Vermeire) Lang Dear Editor, posted 09/15/03
Janice Pepin |
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